


Diverging

by ItsaVikingThing



Series: Elements in Balance [10]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/F, Korrasami Month 2018, No fun at all, Post Book 3, prompt: travelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 12:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16892862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsaVikingThing/pseuds/ItsaVikingThing
Summary: Korra is reeling after the Red Lotus poisoned her, and she's afraid that she'll never make it back from the damage that's been done to her.Asami is there for her. She's there for her too much, willing to sacrifice too much.Korra tries to do the right thing...





	Diverging

**Author's Note:**

> I think we can all agree the genie story was a fluke and it's all downhill from here, yes? By which I mean, I've peaked a bit early, but I'm seriously delighted at how that fic went over! And I'm looking forward to sharing more stories!
> 
> As for this one, if you're unfamiliar with the series, it's canon if you squint but with an accelerated Korrasami romance. But this is post-Book 3, so...um, we're into the rough stuff.

"We are travellers in these bodies, not the bodies themselves."

It's not the first thing that Tenzin has said to Korra since their morning walk started, but it's the first thing that registers. "My body is travelling in a wheelchair," she points out.

But when the stretching silence is textured with another of Tenzin's barely audible sighs, Korra knows that her words haven't made the journey from her mind to her lips. She stares straight ahead, wondering if she should make the effort to try to speak again, but the moment has passed.

All moments pass, of course, but there was a time when Korra was _in_ them, not apart from them. It used to frustrate her, when she emerged from her sheltered existence to offer her services to the world, only to find the world indifferent to her. But back then, she could work, she could fight to prove her relevance. Now, though Korra has taken huge strides since she first arrived in Republic City, the people who forced her into living as a virtual prisoner when she was a child have forced her into the prison of her broken body.

There are no more strides to be made.

Zaheer's plan might not have been a complete success, but he's spread chaos in the Earth Kingdom and exposed how fragile the peace that Aang built is. And now that the world--or those who try to run it, at least--have decided that they need the Avatar, the Avatar...is gone.

Korra's still here, though, being wheeled around the courtyard of Air Temple Island in an exercise which seems to have little point, least of all as exercise for Korra. She sits in her chair, her hands folded in her lap, her head down, her eyes focused on the only thing she can focus on for any length of time: nothing.

Tenzin is still speaking, but all Korra can hear is the forced cheer in his voice. Korra _knows_ he's trying his best for her. She knows he's proud of her, that he believes in her, that he'll fight for her in any way he can. But that knowledge sits stagnant in her mind, unable to connect to any of her current thoughts. Not that it would help if it did; her thoughts travel a circuit that goes nowhere, but each and every revolution of that circuit carries a little piece of Korra further and further away from herself.

She needs silence, she thinks, shelter from the kind words that mask varying degrees of pity from her visitors, shelter from the cruel teeth of her own mind.

Tenzin's voice changes. By the time Korra registers that he's leaving, he's gone.

For a moment, the idea that she might be alone summons a riptide of panic, but then a cool hand touches her neck, and Asami steps into view. She hunkers down beside Korra's knee, and she smiles, the same way she's been smiling at Korra since that night on the airship.

"Hey, Korra." Her voice is balm, taking all the sting out of the world. "Tenzin talking your ear off again?"

Korra tries to nod, and maybe she does, because Asami's smile widens.

"Well, when I got here, Meelo was trying to teach the Air Bison to fly through a burning hoop. He'd got as far as setting part of the orchard on fire, so I think you'll have Tenzin out of your hair for a while." Asami pauses. She strokes the corner of Korra's mouth with her thumb. "Would you mind if I kept you company today?"

Korra tries to protest, to shake her head, because Asami spends too much of her time on Korra. For a successful business leader, it's a bad investment. But Korra's body is nothing now, if not a breeding ground of treachery. She nods, accepting Asami's company, unwilling to accept how close the moment is when she'll have to give it up.

The wind picks up, blowing a strand of hair across Asami's face and almost making her lose her balance. She stands up, brushing her hair behind her ear, long before Korra could even think of _trying_ to reach out, to steady her, to tell Asami how much she loves her with her fingertips.

Her hand wobbles in her lap, then stills. There doesn't seem much point in reaching out now, not when Asami's so far out of reach. She's always been taller, but now...now Korra can't hope to reach her.

Asami glances up at the sky. "I don't think it's going to rain. So are we going in or staying out?"

Korra doesn't care. She tries to make an effort, for Asami's sake. Korra promised her that she wouldn't retreat from Asami, not again, but that was when Korra could feel her body below the waist. That was when she still believed in her own invulnerability. She could be beaten, she could be hurt, but Korra couldn't be broken.

But Zaheer has broken her. And there's a deeper layer to the horror of what she's experienced these last couple of weeks, one she can't express, one that can't escape the suffocating pressure of her frantically, uselessly circling thoughts.

Korra isn't broken. She's still breaking. Piece by piece she's splintering as each new day sees her move no closer to healing and always further from the prospect of making a full recovery. Tenzin keeps telling her that it's early days, that this is just another fight, one that's barely begun. But Korra doesn't feel like she's in this fight. 

She doesn't _know_ how to fight this.

Asami's hand is on her neck. "Korra?"

Korra swallows. "Out."

For a long moment, Asami says nothing. Her hand stays in contact with Korra's skin, and it feels so good that Korra's afraid that she's going to cry.

Asami takes a deep breath. "I...wanted to talk to you about something. You're leaving in a few days, and I've been looking into arrangements with the board. I think I can--"

"No!" There's sweat on Korra's brow, and her heart is hammering, and she was too _loud_ because a White Lotus guard has stepped out from behind a pillar and is staring at Asami. Korra grits her teeth. In a softer voice she says, "No...don't."

Asami opens her mouth, then closes it. She flicks a cool glance at the White Lotus guard, sighs, and moves behind Korra's chair. She begins pushing Korra, away from the guards, away from the people always watching.

Korra wonders what her life would have been like, without the White Lotus in it. She has no way to ask Aang if he understood the magnitude of his mistake when he entrusted the care of the Avatar to them. Aang is gone. All the former lives of the Avatars are gone. Korra lost them, because losing is what she does. If peace was Aang's legacy, hers will be failure.

Her chair comes to a halt in the gazebo, giving her a view of the bay and Republic City beyond it. Korra closes her eyes, but she can hear Asami move to her side, can hear her clothes rustle as she kneels beside Korra's chair. She can smell Asami's perfume, and she realises that she doesn't know what flower it's meant to imitate. Korra only knows that it smells like Asami, and she knows that she could hold onto her, hold onto her scent, her soft touch, her warmth, her near constant presence by Korra's side, the only one that Korra can bear for any length of time now.

Asami loves her.

Korra opens her eyes. Asami is by her side, staring out at the city, her hand so close to Korra's knee that she should be able to feel the heat of it.

After a silence that Korra didn't intend, Asami gently says, "Can we talk about this?"

She's trying _so hard_. Something stirs within Korra, something familiar, something that exists undamaged in the core of her. Korra grasps it gently, afraid that she'll fumble, that she'll lose another moment before it's even begun. "Yeah..."

Asami turns her head, smiling. She raises an eyebrow, and whatever is on Korra's face must look like permission, because Asami gently takes her hand. "Okay. So...you need to go. I don't need to stay. I want to be with you...actually, that's it. That's all of it. I want to be with you. Nothing's going to change that."

Korra loves her _so much_. And she made a promise not to shut Asami out. But...

Tenzin was right about one thing. This is a beginning for Korra. It's the beginning of a journey whose outcome is uncertain, but Korra already knows that she won't be Korra for most of it. She isn't really Korra now, may never be again. It doesn't matter who comes with her, the distance Korra's going to travel, she's going to travel it alone.

Korra loves Asami. Which is why she has to let her go. "Look."

Korra nods across the bay. Asami dutifully turns her attention to the city. "What am I looking at?"

"Home. _Your_ home." Korra sucks in a breath, forces more words out before the distance between her mouth and her mind becomes impossible to traverse again. "You...have a life. Here. Live it."

Asami's breathing becomes ragged. "Do you...do you think I can just let you go? Do you think I can just--"

"'sami. I don't...want you..."

Korra means to say more, wants to _convince_ Asami that this is what's best, what's right, that this is what makes _sense_. She wants to tell Asami that she needs her, oh how she needs her, but Korra's _need_ isn't enough of a reason for Asami to give up any part of her life. Korra wants to point out that they never really got a chance to be together, and Asami deserves that chance with someone who can be there for her, who won't be taken suddenly by a crisis, or an enemy, or...an injury.

But Korra's throat closes and no more words come out.

Asami waits beside her for a long time, facing the bay, letting the wind whip her hair across her face. When it's clear that there will be no more words, Asami stands up and moves behind Korra. Her voice is almost perfectly smooth when she says, "I'll take you back in."

"Please," Korra whispers.

Asami's hand settles on her shoulder for a moment, a moment Korra in no way deserves.

It passes.

The journey back to Korra's room is a long one.

**Author's Note:**

> That hurt to write.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Yell at me in the comments!


End file.
